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Eugen Tarnow


The Notes Admin

Eugen Tarnow  June 1 2011 10:57:33 AM
Isaac B. Markowitz was the Lotus Notes administrator extraordinaire where he worked; he was in charge of just about everything relating to the system. He was a pro, though, having been familiar with and using Lotus Notes since his tenure at engineering school. It was quite the coincidence that his initials were IBM because he was first introduced to Lotus Notes back in the good old days when Lotus Notes was solely the property of the Lotus Development Corporation.   Lately, things were not ideal at his company, but he never began to doubt his own Lotus Notes acumen.

“Explain it to me again,” Isaac asked the lawyer. “Why are we being sued?”

“We produced the stickers that went on the boxes that contained faulty exercise equipment that, when used somewhat incorrectly, caused some people to experience minor muscular damage. All the mail in the departments that handle adhesives has been subpoenaed. How much is that?”

Isaac quickly checked his logs. “Roughly 116,000 messages. 116, 346 actually.”

The lawyer’s face turned white. “116,000 messages? Legal’s going to have to look through 116,000 messages?”

“There must be more to adhesives than we think. I bet most these are repeated messages and three-word replies, though.”

The lawyer grabbed Isaac by the collar of his polo shirt. “We don’t have the budget to handle any more e-discoveries like this. We don’t have the time to do this either. The lawsuits aren’t stopping. The graphics department has been accused of murder!”

“Well, we can look at Lotus Notes mail management solutions, a lotus notes search tool, lotus notes discovery tool. You can thin out that 116,000. It’ll be an investment. We could use some help with lotus notes archiving too to make things like this even easier to deal with in the future.”

“Well, you do what you have to do,” said the lawyer as he left Isaac’s office and went back to his lair. “Just remember that we’re getting pummeled, and you and the purchasing department are .”

Isaac went to Google and searched domino mail management. More importantly, though, in his mind everything was already taken care of. He looked in his left hand and saw the world, bleeding yellow.  

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